I walked into Zolton’s salon the other day for a trim with my favorite stylist, Natalie, and not another moment goes by after we greet one another that she sits me down and the first two words out of her mouth were, “I’m engaged!!” Of course I had to dish for the juicy details about where, when, and how he proposed to her. (I know you’re excited to hear about it but you’ll have to wait for when I post pics of Natalie + Ryan’s engagement session!)
After hearing her story about the proposal, we explored countless ideas about wedding venues around the Phoenix area. She commented on how Ryan seemed to be more concerned about the wedding plans than she is. Even taking her by surprise when he requested her presence at the recent Phoenix Bridal Show that took place last month. She had no idea there was even a bridal show going on until he said something.
This is one of the very few times I’ve heard about the groom being this involved with the wedding planning. And I must admit, I’m liking this.
This conversation had me thinking . . . What is out there to help the guys become more interested in the wedding details? How can you delegate tasks to the groom to ease the the pain of planning? Needless to say, I ran home with my fingers twitching at the excitement of touching my computer keyboard to do a little research.
I found about 5 different websites geared towards the groom. Ranging from blogs by recently married guys to full on registry sites strictly for the recently engaged or near-engaged men. Weeding through them, I found the most valuable ones worth mentioning. Of the five, only two remain.
A blog about one groom’s experience from the beginning stages of his wedding planning all the way beyond the day he got married. It may be slightly outdated but I think he has some valuable information on there for someone looking for another groom’s perspective and advice.
A site that holds the core of any man’s wedding planning questions, humorous rants, gift guide, bachelor party ideas, etc. etc. It’s got the 411. A VERY helpful guide. Some particular articles I’ve found could be useful:
Hopefully these sites will, at the very least, get your groom’s brain geared up for planning your wedding together.
And don’t forget about the other ways to get your groom more involved:
Provide him with a visual guide. Clip magazine images of what you envision for your wedding and show him a folder of what you like. Encourage him to browse through and find things that he likes.
Talk to him. Maybe he just assumes this is your thing and doesn’t realize he’s allowed to participate. There’s so many misconceptions that planning a wedding is the woman’s role and the guy just shows up in a suit. The wedding is about the both of you. It’ll be more fun for him to bring in his ideas as well and collaborate with you.
Realize that your wedding will not be perfect. Don’t hold the reins too tightly and try to control every aspect of the wedding in fear that what he wants won’t match the wedding theme. Keep an open mind to his wishes, desires, and whims and who knows. . . his idea might just be a brilliant one!
Use his skills. Is he a website designer? Give him the details like colors, theme, etc. and let him design your save-the-date website. Graphic designer? Have him create the invitations.
If it’s an area he’s truly interested in, he’ll jump right in and enjoy it all the more.
Remember you have a partner in crime. There will always be something you don’t want to do and can delegate to the other. That’s what’s so great about having a life partner. You’ve given him a task that he enjoys but that shouldn’t leave you with the rest of the planning details that you don’t enjoy doing. If you don’t like being on the phone and contacting vendors to set up appointments, have him do it. All you have to do is ask.
Let him decompress. I’m sure that the moment you’re engaged you start thinking about your wedding day. You’re all pumped up about it. You get on Pinterest and pin away hours looking at dresses, decorations, cakes, bridal wear. It’s an all day thing being consumed by the wedding, WeDding, WEDDING! When there’s a lapse in between thoughts during your work day – A stroll to the bathroom and you’re thinking about how brides could possibly maneuver the bathroom stall in a big ball gown. Hah . . . I’ve seen it all!
The last thing he wants as soon as he walks in the door is to be bombarded by questions about wedding planning. With your biggest smile, ask him how his day was, give him a hug, and allow him an hour or two to decompress from his day.
All else fails. Make him lick the stamps.